Tales of Puella Magi
by shanejayell
Summary: Short drabbles set in various versions of Madoka Magica.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters from Puella Magi Madoka Magica, I'm just borrowing them for awhile. These will be short pieces on various characters from the various series, some of which may be expanded into full stories later.

Tales of Puella Magi

One

As Charlotte reared above her Mami Tomoe froze, just for a moment, but a moment was all it took for the strange, clown faced witch to chomp down on her head.

"Crap," Sayaka Miki said weakly, the blue haired girl looking on in horror.

"Mami-san!" Madoka Kaname breathed out, eyes wide with shock.

Then, suddenly, Mami's arms came up, a musket in each hand. She blasted the witch with both barrels, and her body dropped to the ground, still clad in her magical girl uniform, yet also headless. Yet somehow she brought her guns up, firing each musket in a graceful dance as she blasted the witch to pieces, eventually revealing the grief seed.

"Holy shit," Sayaka breathed out as the still headless Mami stood there in the middle of the battlefield. She and Madoka went over to her, somewhat nervously.

"Are you all right, Mami-san?" Madoka asked nervously.

"I seem to be," the headless yet not bleeding Mami noted, her voice coming from where her mouth would have been. She reached up and felt around where her head would have been, "How inconvenient, I won't be able to have tea and cake now."

Both Sayaka and Madoka face planted at that, though Sayaka recovered quicker. "Get serious!" she growled, "How is you can even talk?"

"Magic, I guess," the headless Mami shrugged. She sighed, "I guess going to school is impossible now too..."

"Ugh," Sayaka ran a hand down her face.

"Mami, you're so cool!" Madoka squealed, having got over her shock, "Just like Celty from Durarara!"

Sayaka sighed as Mami 'looked' on dubiously. "My life is insane," she said.

Notes: What is Mami had worn her Soul on her belt, rather than on her hat? Also inspired by all the fanarts with headless Mami hanging out with Celty from Durarara. Might continue this if I can figure out how.


	2. Chapter 2

Tales Of Puella Magi

Two

Kyouko's spear flashed as the redhead bounded away. "You trust Mami so much?" she called, "You don't know anything about her! How long do you think we've been doing this?"

"Huh?" Sayaka managed, but the girl was gone.

As the magical barriers keeping them apart Madoka hurried to Sayaka's side. "What do you think she means?" she asked.

"I don't know," Sayaka admitted as she stood a bit shakilly, "but I think we'd better find out."

Mami Tomoe had been both girls guide to becoming magical girls, and other than Kyubey was their only source of information. If there was something going on with her, like Kyouko implied, they needed to know about it.

The school records weren't hard to get at, but didn't tell them anything. Sayaka then went to the school library, where she started flpping through copies of the school yearbooks.

"Sayaka, this is getting boring," Madoka admitted as she turned pages in a yearbook from five years ago.

"I know, but," Sayaka started then said, "wait, turn back a page."

Madoka did, revealing a group of seniors at their prom. And right in the middle was Mami! "Look, it's Mami," she said, pointing.

"No it isn't," Madoka said, "that's another senior. I'm sure of it. Though I can't remember her name, it's not Mami..."

It took a few more photos to be sure, but somehow Madoka couldn't recognize Mami in the old photos. There must be some magic at work, Sayaka guessed, that was keeping her from seeing. With a sinking feeling Sayaka opened up a yearbook from ten years ago, then fifteen. In all of them, there were smiling pictures of Mami, graduating with each class. Then next year, appearing again as a junior.

As Madoka looked on worriedly Sayaka closed the books, wondering what this all meant. Somehow Mami was reliving her high school years over and over, presumably erasing the teachers and students memories. But why? Did she find it safer in school? Or did she enjoy it? Or was she just hiding from reality?

Either way, Sayaka now had to deal with the unpleasant thought that their leader was mentally unstable. Or worse, possibly insane...

To be continued...

Notes: We know that Mami has a degree of mental instability from Homura's time loops. So I started to wonder how she might cope with figuring out she might be immortal... I'm also assuming she and Kyouko have been doing the magical girl thing for about the same time. Call this a alternate universe.


	3. Chapter 3 Divergence

Tales of Puella Magi

Three (Divergence)

The time had come. Kyubey tensed with anticipation at what was coming. Homura was down, and Madoka was primed to make a wish. A wish of such power and destiny that it would instantly full fill his quota...

"Now, Kaname Madoka, what is the wish that you will pay for with your soul?" Kyubey asked.

"I wish...," Madoka started.

"DIVINE BUSTER!" a voice yelled, cutting her off as a pink beam of force blasted Kyubey away, sending the white creature slamming against a wall.

"What the...," both Homura and Madoka started as the woman in white and pink dove down from the sky, followed by several, other girls in outlandish outfits.

"Incubator, aka Kyubey!" the girl yelled, "By order of the TSAB you are under arrest for illegally tampering in unadministrated worlds, creation of faulty devices and numerous other crimes!"

In a much rougher voice Kyubey muttered, "Damn it, the cops! Gotta book!" he scampered away as a blond with a scythe chased after him.

"Get back here!" Fate yelled.

"What is...?" Homura had to ask, having never seen anything like this in any other timeline.

Nanoha helped Homura up as she cheerfully explained, "Kyubey is a dimensional criminal, who uses low magic worlds to generate energy for his people. He seals off a section of the world and makes witches so magical girls are needed to stop them, then harvests the energies."

"So he lied to us?" Madoka asked, helping support the wounded Homura.

"Yup," Nanoha agreed. Fate returned with a captured Kyubey as she continued, "Now we just need to deal with that final witch."

Up in the sky Hayate Yagami floated, einforce beside her. "Is everyone ready?" she asked. Getting the all clear she used wide area destructive magic and blew Walpurgisnacht to hell.

"Somehow this feels vaguely anti-climatic," Homura sighed.

Madoka hugged her, "You'e still my hero, Homura!"

Homura went beet red as Nanoha and Fate exchanged fond looks.

"I want my lawyer!" Kyubey ranted, "It's a frame, I tells ya! A frame!"

To be continued...?

Notes: Yes, it's unrealistic but the idea amuses me. This is NOT consistent with the other series tied into Madoka. It is interesting that we never see more than just one town, and all the information the girls get is from Kyubey. Could be he's just a lying little shit. Heh.


	4. Homura

Tales of Puella Magi

Four

Homura Akemi used her powers to go back in time to try to change the events that lead up to Madoka becoming a magical girl. Most of the time, she failed. But that didn't mean there weren't interesting variations she discovered...

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

"YOU RECRUITED THE ENTIRE CLASS TO BE MAGICAL GIRLS?!" Homura yelped, looking at Madoka, appalled.

"Yeah," Sayaka said casually, "I mean, you were saying we'd have trouble against Walpurgisnacht, so I thought... numbers!"

Mami smiled sweetly, "What's wrong, Akemi-san?"

Homura didn't even want to imagine how happy Kyubey would be right now. All these magical girls and all those potential grief seeds? He'd fill his quota and THEN some. And how could she break it to this ditzy Sayaka that she had just doomed the entire clas to becoming abominations?

Kyoko gave her a sympathetic look, the redhead at least knowing part of the full story. "Well, we gotta try right?" she noted.

"Yeah," Homura admitted, KNOWING at least half the class would probably witch out once the battle ended.

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

"What in the...," Homura yelped as Madoka transformed. Instead of her usual pink, fluffy skirt she wore a slinky, body hugging garment that looked very, very sexy.

"Mami suggested I update my costume a bit," Madoka noted with some embarassment, "is it too much?"

"No, no." Homura smiled as a erotic nosebleed spouted from her face, "it's FINE."

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

"Uh, Mami-san, what are you...?" Homura asked desperately as she struggled with her bonds.

In previous experience, Homura knew Mami was a bit... unstable. So when the older student invited her back to her room, she had been on her guard. What she hadn't expected was that Mami would answer the door buck naked! That had surprised her enough that Mami manifested her ribbon powers, and tied Homura up with her hands over her head.

"Hmm, Homura is so cute..." Mami purred as she pressed her bare breasts up against Homura's chest, rubbing them together.

"Eeep," Homura made a soft sound as Mami undid the buttons on her top.

After a few moments Homura decided to get free LATER. Much later...

To be continued...?

Writing NOT going well this week. So Homura sexy times! I sometimes wonder what else happened in Homura's various time rips... might expand on this eventually.


	5. Arisugawa's Locket

Tales of Puella Magi

Five: The Obligatory Arisugawa's Locket Chapter

Note: Arisugawa's Locket is a fictional bar series by this author, in which characters from various anime series crossover. This chapter is in part based on a earlier chapter from that fic, with some changes to point of view.

_Once upon a time there were two girls, Madoka Kaname and Homura Akemi. Both were ordinary girls, for certain values of ordinary, and found themselves caught up in the affairs of Puella Magi. As the dark destiny of magical girls crashed down on them, each fell, only to have Honura's magic give them a second chance. In the end they won against fate and destiny, but in the process everything changed..._

"So," the tall, odd looking bartender said as she poured the young woman a drink, "you transcended reality and became a semi immortal incarnation of hope?"

Madoka Kaname nodded, her long pink hair flowing down her back as she answered, "Yes, pretty much." She waited to see the woman's expression of disbelief, knowing how she would have reacted to such a revelation. Mind you, this Ryouko seemed rather unusual too. She almost felt like a Puella Magi, at least in her powers...

Ryouko shrugged casually as she passed her the drink and said, "Well, it's not the oddest story I've heard."

That made Madoka blink in surprise, wondering what kind of place she had landed in. "Though I don't quite understand what I'm doing here," Madoka conceded as she looked at the drink, "I mean, I thought I had lost my ability to interact with normal people."

"Huh," Ryouko looked thoughtful a moment. "I think I know someone who might figure it out at least, but I need to get a hold of her first. You gonna be okay?"

"I'm fine," Madoka quicklu reassured her, then sipped her drink as she took in the bar, being careful not to get tangled up in her long dress.

Madoka hadn't really expected to be standing in a bar, having a drink after all she had been through. After watching magical girls die one by one, being manipulated by Kubey, then finally making her wish and becoming a magical girl, it had all been kind of overwhelming.

Not to mention the whole ascending to goddesshood thing and becoming a embodiment of hope. When Madoka made her decision to save all magical girls, everywhere, she had been prepared for the consequences. But understanding it mentally was a entirely different thing than finding yourself jumping through all space and time, finding magical girls when they reached their limit and helping them reach a sort of magical girl valhalla.

For a moment Madoka wondered what was happening with the magical girls she had saved, but she couldn't... feel, for lack of a better word, that aspect of herself that searched them out and saved them. She decided that things would take care of themselves, at least for now, and decided to have another drink.

Alpha smiled as she served the two young women sitting at the corner table by the library their sodas. "I'm sorry I can't get you alcohol." the green haired woman said respectfully, her skirt swirling around her legs.

Oriko Mikuni smiled sweetly, the white clad girl sipping her glass of pop. "It's fine," she reassured Alpha. "In fact I was rather surprised to find ourselves here."

"It's a pretty cool place," the black clad girl beside her agreed. Kirika Kure looked relaxed, or at least as relaxed as the tightly wound girl ever got as she looked around. "Hey, there's kareoke! Oriko, can we go sing?"

Oriko laughed. "Let me finish my drink first, at least," she chided her girlfriend. She looked at Alpha, "So, do people just appear from nowhere here very often, like we did?"

"Well, they don't usually appear from midair, but I assume it happens," Alpha admitted, "I've only been working here a year or so."

"I thought it was fun," Kirika said cheerfully. She looked at Oriko curiously, "If something's wrong, can your vision power tell you?"

"Visions?" Alpha asked.

"I can see the future occasionally," Oriko admitted. She looked thoughtful as she mused, "But it doesn't seem to be working now."

"Well, it probably doesn't matter," Kirika shrugged. She tugged at Oriko's arm, "Finish your drink! I wanna do kareoke!"

Oriko laughed, "Just a few minutes..."

Meanwhile Midori Sugiura was bustling between tables, noting the decidedly odd group of young women who seemed to be in the club tonight. There were a lot of teenagers mixed into the crowd tonight, and unlike usual when the bar seemed to 'appear' as needed, the girls were just popping into the bar in bursts of pink energy.

The busty girl (And what was it about well stacked girls lately? This kid rivalled her friend Mai!) in germanic looking clothes was looking at the girl in white robes in disbelief. "You're Joan of Arc," she said weakly.

The girl looked at her mildly, her hair cut severely short and her face unmarked by makeup. "Some have called be that," Joan conceded.

"Why is this so strange?" the other woman asked. She looked like the image of a Egyptian princess, with the stylized headdress and brief robes. Which made sense, since she claimed to be Cleopatra. THE Cleopatra.

Incidentally, while the girls with the boobs spoke english, each of the other girls was speaking her own language. Thanks to the genius of the eccentric scientist who modified the bar years ago everyone understood everyone else, but it was a bit surreal.

"So this is... tea, Tomoe Mami?" Cleopatra noted as she swished the fluid around dubiously. "I would rather have wine."

"Apparently the staff here think we're too young to drink," Mami said mildly. "And you can just call me Mami is you wish."

Deciding this would be a good time to step in again Midori smiled at them cheerfully. "Would you like to order something to eat?" she offered.

"You are most comely for a serving girl," Cleopatra noted, looking Midori over. "How old are you?" she asked curiously.

"Seventeen!" Midori answered promptly. Before any of the girls could point out how impossible that was she swiftly rattled off the list of day's specials, leaving two of the girls looking quite perplexed at the strange, from their perspective, foods.

Mami ordered quite quickly, while Cleopatra and Joan looked rather bewildered. "Could I get a serving of roast boar?" Joan asked meekly.

Midori blinked, but she recovered pretty readily. "I think Sasami can whip up something," she told the girl. As she trotted off to the kitchen she wondered what else was going to happen...

In the bathroom at Arisugawa's Locket, Kazuko Saotome kissed the other woman nervously, the young looking teacher leaning against her partner. She had been invited out with friends but they disappeared on her, and she ended up being chatted up by this quite attractive lady. One thing led to another, and she ended up in the bathroom being smooched.

"Shiori, is this..." Kazuko gasped as the purple haired woman unclasped her bra.

"Hmm," Shiori purred as she kissed the older woman's breasts. Things were going just fine for a seduction when the girl fell from the ceiling.

"Aaaah!" the blue haired girl cried out in alarm as she crashed down on them and sent poor Kazuko sprawling.

"Well crap," Shiori blinked. Random people falling from the ceiling was not the strangest thing she'd seen, and she tried to make sure the newcomer and her potential lay were okay.

"Oww," Kazuko sighed, sitting up with her blouse open. Realizing they had company she switly did her bra up as she took in the strange girl dressed in a top, skirt and a cape... then froze. "Sayaka Miki?" she breathed out in shock.

Sayaka Miki went dead still, the blue haired girl's eyes going very wide as she recognized her teacher. In a bar. Possibly having sex with a WOMAN. Sayaka practically felt her brain overloading as she mumbled, "Uh, hi."

Shiori sighed, deciding that sexy fun time was officially over. She helped both of them get up as she said, "You two all right? You seem to know each other..."

"Yeah, you could say that," Sayaka said dryly.

"I thought you were DEAD," Kazuko blurted out then burst into tears.

'Yeah, this is gonna be a mess,' Shiori sighed, deciding it might be best to take the two of them back out to the bar. Maybe out there someone could figure all this out.

Up at the main bar, Kyoko Sakura was arguing with the other bartender about surrendering her spear weapon. "Come on," the redhead waved, "it's magical. And it's not like I want to hurt anyone here anyway."

"This from the woman who tried stabbing someone when she arrived," Minagi noted dryly, the twin sister of Ryouko casually leaning against the bar.

"I was startled," Kyoko said defensively as she took a bite from her apple.

Before they could argue more Minagi's twin Ryoko emerged from the back, accompanied by a redheaded midget and a pink haired girl who looked oddly familiar. Unable to explain the urge she moved nearer, trying to overhear them.

"What do you think, Washu?" Ryoko asked the midget.

"I think I've figured it out," Washu admitted with a excited smile, "it's quite simple really."

"Really?" the pink haired girl asked tentatively.

"Madoka, when you made your wish to save all magical girls across space and time," Washu said, "you became a kind of anomaly, a space/time disruption. When you passed through the bar my Time/Space engine here locked onto you, making you physical."

"Is that why the magical girls are turning up here?" Juri Arisugawa had to ask, the owner of the bar investigating the scenario. Not that she minded, exactly, but the new girls were only buying the less expensive non-alcoholic drinks.

"I think so," Washu nodded.

Madoka looked miserable, "I'm so sorry..."

"So it's your fault I appeared here?" Mkyoko demanded, rushing over to the pink haired girl.

"Wait I..." Madoka started as Kyoko grabbed at her arm.

Kyoko stayed angry for maybe a second, then gasped as memories rushed in. She suddenly remembered another timeline, where she kept running into a normal schoolgirl named Madoka. Kyoko died in battle, but she saw Madoka make a choice, turning magic against their tormentors and becoming a savior to magical girls everywhere.

"Madoka," Kyoko started then grabbed her in a bear hug, "MADOKA!"

Madoka made a uncomfortable meeping noise. "You remember me now, I guess?" she asked.

"Of course I do, you idiot," Kyoko said. She saw Sayaka and dragged Modoka over to her, "Let's see if this works again..."

Up at the bar Juri watched the happy reunions taking place even as she looked at Ryoko and Washu. Washu shrugged as she answered the unspoklen question, "I can probably set it up so she doesn't appear here, but she'd turn into a conceptual entity again."

"A what?" Minagi asked.

Washu gave her a look, "A ghost, pretty much."

Juri sighed as both women looked at her. There was no way she was hard hearted enough to condemn a girl to non-existence as she philosophically mused, "I suppose we can add on a back room or something for the magical girls."

Just then the main door to the club slammed open as a grey haired young woman in purple and black strode in. "It took me days to find where everyone disappeared to..." she started, then seemed stunned when she saw Madoka. "Madoka...?" she breathed out, tears glistening in her eyes.

"Homura!" Madoka exclaimed and ran across the room and ended up in her arms.

"Awww," Sayaka, Kyoko, Mami and even Kazuko sighed. The younger girls looked at the teacher who shrugged, "What? They're adorable."

Meanwhile, outside the bar part-time bouncer Cyber Six stared down at the odd creature that was trying to get in. It looked vaguely like a cross between a cat, a bunny and a alien, with a almost desurbing kind of cuteness.

"I need to go inside to see my charges," Kubey demanded.

"Sorry, male familiars are not allowed," Cyber Six answered, deciding that the thing was male. Or at least that it creeped her out enough not to let it inside.

To be continued...

Our Cast: Arisugawa Juri and Shiori are from Revolutionary girl Utena, Cyber Six is from the series of the same name, Alpha is from Yokohama Kaidashi Kikou, Ryouko, Washu and Minagi are from Tenchi Muyo, and Midori is from Mai Hime.

Characters: Madoka, Kyoko, Mami, Sayaka, Homura, Kazuko and Kubey are all from Puella Magi Madoka Magica, as are Cleopatra and Joan of Arc. Oriko and Kirika are both from Puella Magica Oriko Magica, a spin-off manga.

Notes: I haven't read Kazumi Magica yet, or I'd toss them in too. As it is I'll probably do a rewrite later to work them in...


	6. Chapter 6

Tales of Puella Magi

Six

Time seemed to stop, as the little witch bulged and shifted. Her mouth opened, opened wider, stretching, then a creature erupted from the tiny witch. Mami seemed stunned, frozen as the creature rushed towards her.

Time seemed to slow for Sayaka. Miki. Her thoughts raced, thinking about what she had planed, tentatively... using a wish to save the boy she liked. The two getting together even as she became a magcal hero. Even a happily ever after for them?

In that second or so, Sayaka tossed those dreams aside. "Kyubey!" she yelled.

Mami saw the maw stretching towars her. She didn't have TIME to magic up another gun, to dodge... she closed her eyes, hoping it was going to be quick.

"Uff!" a girl's voice grunted, and Mami felt herself swept up.

Mami's eyes opened as she realized she was being cradled in another girl's arms. "Sayaka-san?" she said weakly, taking in the blue haired girl's determined expression, and almost heroic resolve.

"Mami-senpai," Sayaka smiled warmly, "are you all right?"

Mami actually felt herself blushing, but she didn't quite know why. "Yes, thank you," she smiled back. The witch was snapping at them as Sayaka leaped away, and Mami felt her confidence coming back. "Let's stop this thing," she said firmly.

"Let's," Sayaka agreed eagerly.

History changes from small things. Instead of making a ultimately selfish wish to try to get a boy she liked, Sayaka selflessly saved another. With Mami alive Sayaka received guidance and training, and did not spiral into despair.

When Mami was confronted by the truth of Puella Magi, Sayaka broke through her horror enough to bring her to her senses. In the final battle against Walpurgisnacht, five hale and hearty Magi faced her, and won.

THAT, however, was all in the future. What concerned Sayaka at the moment was the adoring look Mami was giving her...

To be continued?

Notes: Another drabble, this time inspired by a neat piece of Mami/Sayaka fanart.


	7. The problems with being Madokami

Tales of Puella Magi

Seven

The problems with being Madokami

The thing about her wish, Madoka found, was that it changed both how she perceived herself and the world around her. She moved through both time and space, was everywhere and nowhere as she rescued magical girls. It created a bit of confusion, especially when she stopped to talk to girls from other places and times.

"Hail the Madokami!" the science fiction style garbed girl named Arisu groveled.

"Please stop that," Madoka begged. "So... there's a religion based on me in your time?"

The girl got up, still looking awed. "Yes, great Madokami!" Arisu declared.

"Just call me Madoka, please," she begged, then saw the girl's stunned look. "Or what ever you are comfortable with."

"Thank you, Madokami!" Arisu beamed.

Madoka fought the urge to run a hand across her face. "How did this religion start?" she asked the girl curiously.

"When the magical girls first discovered the Book of the Prophet HomuHomu," Arisu revealed reverently. "In her diaries she was the one who first revealed your majesty to the world, along with the other Disciples."

"Disciples," Madoka echoed weakly.

"The motherly Mami, Valiant Kyoko and the Martyr Sayaka," Arisu said eagerly.

Madoka fought back a giggling fit at 'motherly Mami' but quickly sobered up. Her friends would have a fit when they heard about this. "Uhm, how do my followers worship me?" she had to ask.

"We sacrifice virgins, of course," Arisu beamed.

Madoka gaped at her. "What?" she yelped, "I don't want that!"

Arisu looked thoughtful then added, "No, no, I put it wrong."

"Oh good," Madoka pulled out a breath.

"We sacrifice girl's virginity to you, in honor of HomuHomu's great love for you!" Arisu explained bashfully.

Madoka did facepalm that time. "Oy..." Maybe she could visit Homura and try to put a stop to all this? Or would it make things even worse?

To be continued?

Notes: Based on a tumblr I saw, called 'Ask Madokami' where somebody brought up the idea of virgin sacrifice. I just put a yuri spin on it...


	8. Madokami vs Haruhi Suzumiya

Tales of Puella Magi

Eight

Madokami Vs Haruhi Suzumiya!

Meanwhile, in the afterlife of Puella Magi...

Kyouko slapped the massive poster on the wall, depicting Ultimate Madoka in full goddess mode, facing off against a stylized image of Haruhi holding the earth in her hands. It was extremely over the top, exactly how they liked it.

"Yes! This will be the fight of the century!" Kyouko declared excitedly, dressed in casual shorts and a t-shirt..

"Or it just might unmake all reality," Syaka pointed out seriously, looking over at her girlfriend in alarm.

"Well, yeah, that too," Kyouko conceded.

"I think this is a very, very bad idea," Mami agreed, the busty blonde sitting at nearby table. They had been sharing tea and cake when Kyouko had her brainstorm.

"Uhm," Madoka waved a hand from where she was sitting watching her friends be strange, "I don't think we CAN fight anyway."

"HUH?" Kyouko blinked, "Why?"

"Because my powers don't really work that way," Madoka sighed.

"Correct!" Mami suddenly popped up dressed in a lab coat and glasses, looking surprisingly hot. She pointed to a new diagram that had appeared on the wall, "Madoka's powers are all mostly Puella Magi related. She can defeat any witch, travel in space & time to find a Magi in distress & can drain their despair & send them to yuri-valhalla."

"Yuri-Valhalla?" Kyouko looked amused.

"Call it whatever you like," Mami shrugged, "it's filled with girls who, mostly, like other girls."

"I thought Madoka could alter reality too," Sayaka asked, blinking.

"Well, not exactly," Madoka looked sheepish.

Mami nodded, "The changes to reality actually happened because Madoka gave the universe a Negative Space Wedgie from altering the timeline too much."

"Huh," Kyouko blinked again.

"Every time I saved a Puella Magi I also prevented all the damage they did witching-out. That changed history lots of times, which ultimately rebooted everything," Madoka sighed.

"I still rather like calling it Negative Space Wedgie," Mami snickered.

"So why can't Haruhi fight Madoka, then?" Sayaka asked.

Mami tapped her pointer against her palm as she explained, "Well, Haruhi CAN alter reality, but she does so only subconsciously. So it's not like she can just summon Madoka there and punch her out, or something."

"Not to mention I'd punch back," Madoka noted.

"And if Haruhi made a deal with Kyubey?" Kyouko suggested.

"Then she's a Puella Magi and falls under Madoka's area of power," Mami shrugged.

Kyouko sighed. "All right, calling the fight off..."

To be continued?

Notes: Yeah, short piece. Based on the online debate of who would win, Madoka or Haruhi Suzumiya. My thought was basically that their power sets don't actually work against each other, so...


	9. The Ride

Puella Magi Madoka Magica: The Ride

The silvery bike raced down the highway, the black haired young woman leaning forward to make them a bit more aerodynamic. Behind her another girl clutched on desperately, even as they tried to catch... IT.

The witch barrelled down the hallway, spreading it's evil as it soared along. Unlike most witches which just lingered or floated about in their Mazes before trying to kill you, this one was FAST. Even time stop wasn't letting them catch up to it, so they switched to something more... practical.

"Homura-san, how long have you known how to ride a motorbike?" Madoka asked as she clutched on for dear life.

"Today," Homura answered as she revved the engine, "it's been that kind of day."

Madoka just ignored that she she balanced carefully and tried to draw her bow. "Hold the bike steady, I can't get a shot!" she complained.

Homura smiled grimly as she answered, "Like you could hit the broad side of the barn ANYWAY, Kaname-san!"

"Would it kill you to call me Madoka, Homura-chan?" Madoka replied good naturedly, still trying to draw.

Homura revved the engine a bit as she answered, "Brace yourself, I'm gonna try to cut it off!"

"Wait.." Madoka started then yelped as Homura gunned the engne, getting them ahead of the witch, then skidding sideways.

"Shoot it!" Homura yelled.

"Right!" Madoka answered as she drew her bow and fired, hitting the witch dead on and swiftly reducing it to a grief seed.

Homura coasted by where the grief seed had landed and smoothly picked it up. "We'd better go back and check on Mami and the others, see how they're doing."

"Right," Madoka sighed as she snuggled closer to Homura.

Homura blushed furiously, trying not to pay too much attention to how distracting Madoka was.

This time around, Homura was trying an idea again: saving as many magical girls as she could for the last battle. She was more experienced this time, had done a lot of reboots, so maybe this time she could make it work. Of course, things always got complicated...

"Damn it Sayaka! I wasn't sleeping with Mami!" Kyouko protested.

"There was a blonde hair n your collar!" Sayaka growled jealously.

"I just went over for some cake!" Kyouko explained.

"Oh, so THAT'S what you call it," Sayaka sniffed.

Homura ran a hand down her face.

"Sorry," Mami shrugged.

"BREAK IT UP!" Homura yelled at the fighting girls.

Madoka sighed dreamily, "You're so forceful, Homura-san!"

"Oy," Homura sighed.

To be continued...?

Notes: Inspired by a neat piece of fanart of Madoka & Homura on a bike. May or may not flesh this out later.


	10. Chapter 10

Tales of Puella Magi

Ten

And sometimes things just went completely wrong for Kyubey.

The young woman shimmered and glowed as she transformed, but she didn't dance or twirl around. Then again, she wasn't really a dancing type...

"Damn it, Revy, I told you not to make a deal with Kyubey!" Homura winced.

The soul gem solidified on Revy's belt, the gunslinger from the Lagoon Company mostly unchanged by her transformation. The only really big change was her eyes, glowing a dangerous, sullen red.

Kyubey watched with some satisfaction, the little bunny-thing sitting nearby. Revy was older than his usual contracts, in her twenties, but her heart was filled with cynicism and fury. He was certain she would go witch quickly, and generate much energy.

"But you don't know what I wished for," Revy grinned.

Kyubey suddenly felt a surge of apprehension...

Revy drew her twin guns, "With these I can kill ANYTHING."

Before Kyubey could even move, the guns blazed, blasting him with bullets and unholy energies. He tried to escape the shredded, wrecked body, and was unable to.

"I have made a terrible mistake," Kyubey managed to get out before he died.

Homura poked at the body with her boot, then looked at Revy. "His people will send others," she pointed out.

"Then I'll shoot them too," Revy shrugged as she holstered her guns.

"Wonder if you can one-shot Walpurgis as well," Homura wondered as they walked off together.

To be continued...?

Yeah magical girl Black Lagoon.


End file.
